When is enough truly enough? When do we recognise the importance of setting boundaries and walking away from situations that no longer serve us? Too often, we find ourselves, or hear of others, stuck in circumstances they would rather avoid simply because they haven’t yet learned to say, “This is enough.”

We see this play out in our own lives and in the lives of those around us. How often do we find ourselves in deep conversations with friends that feel more like therapy sessions?

There’s always at least one person in the group trapped in a situation they’d rather not be in, wanting to walk away but unsure how. As they share their struggles, we sit there listening, thinking, Wow, what is going on? Why would you allow this to happen to you?

Relationships

Relationships are one of the most common examples. We meet someone who seems amazing, they make us laugh, take us to dinner, and value our opinions. There appear to be no red flags. In the past, red flags weren’t widely discussed, so we might be blind to them. Even when they are present, we sometimes choose not to see them, caught up in the excitement of the relationship.

We may even hear warnings from a former partner who had a bad experience, but we dismiss them, convincing ourselves that it’s jealousy or their issue, not ours. How could it be us? We don’t see any of what they are talking about, so we continue in blissful ignorance.

Slowly, we start to notice small things. At first, we ignore them. Then, more concerning behaviours appear. Eventually, we see everything they had hidden or what we once thought was charming, funny, or just “them.” We may feel irritated but laugh it off, pretending it doesn’t matter. When we finally express how we feel, they might change for a while, but soon, the behaviours return, worse than before.

At what point do we set boundaries? When do we say, “Enough is enough”?

Workplace relationships

We start a new job feeling excited and enthusiastic, ready to give it our all. We form friendships, and everything seems to be going well, except for one person who constantly finds fault with our work. Nothing is ever good enough for them.

At first, we brush it off as paranoia. But as time goes on, their behaviour worsens, and we start doubting ourselves. Even though others seem happy with our work, we begin to wonder, Is everyone secretly talking about me? Am I really as bad as they make me feel? The constant criticism chips away at our confidence, making us question our abilities.

What do we do? Do we endure the situation, speak up, seek support from a senior, or leave? When is enough enough? When do we decide to take action?

The same principle applies here. If we find ourselves in a workplace that makes us unhappy, we have a choice. We can trust ourselves, set new boundaries, and seek an environment where we can thrive. Just like in relationships, we must recognise when it’s time to walk away and prioritise our well-being.

Family and the weight of expectations

We’ve all heard phrases like “Blood is thicker than water” and “Family first.” Society often instils in us the belief that family bonds are unbreakable and should be prioritised above all else. While family can be a source of love and support, not all family relationships are healthy.

Sometimes, we endure toxic family dynamics out of obligation, guilt, or cultural expectations. We may tolerate mistreatment because we believe that family is forever or that walking away would be a betrayal. However, true family should uplift and respect us, not diminish our self-worth.

Just because someone is family doesn’t mean we must accept harmful behaviour. Setting boundaries with family members can be the hardest thing to do, but it’s necessary for our well-being. We must ask ourselves: Would I tolerate this from a friend or a colleague? If the answer is no, why should family be any different?

Learning to prioritise ourselves doesn’t mean we stop loving our family, it means we love ourselves enough to choose peace over toxicity.

The personal threshold

These scenarios are not uncommon and often lead people to seek therapy. Questions arise, such as: Why am I being treated this way? Why do I allow it? Why can’t I stand up for myself? or even What is wrong with me?

As I’ve written in a previous article, there is nothing wrong with you. From birth, we are programmed on how to behave. We may witness unhealthy patterns, perhaps a parent in an abusive relationship, and promise ourselves we would never accept such treatment. Yet, we sometimes find ourselves in the same situation without understanding how we got there. The truth is, we were never taught how to fully love ourselves or set healthy boundaries.

As we grow and learn self-respect, we begin to set boundaries. We don’t have to scream or shout to be heard or treated well. We can simply say, Enough is enough. I will not allow myself to be treated this way. The best way to handle these situations is calmly and assertively.

Ask yourself, What do I truly want for myself? Or consider this: If a friend came to me in the same situation, what advice would I give them? Often, we are great at giving advice but struggle to take it ourselves because we care more about others than we do about ourselves.

We must learn to love ourselves enough to say, I deserve better. And now, it’s enough.

Taking responsibility for change

Taking responsibility is powerful because it allows us to reflect and grow. Instead of dwelling on blame, we can ask ourselves, What can I learn from this? How will I change my choices in the future? What new boundaries will I set, and how will I implement them?

The same applies to the workplace, family, or any other scenario. If we find ourselves in an unhealthy situation, we have the ability to trust ourselves and set new boundaries. We can choose to walk away from what no longer serves us and allow ourselves to thrive in healthier environments.

Knowing when to walk away

Sometimes, we hesitate to walk away out of fear, fear of being alone, fear of failure, or fear of the unknown. But growth comes from discomfort, and choosing ourselves is not selfish; it is necessary.

Walking away doesn’t always mean severing ties immediately. It can be a gradual process of creating distance, setting firm boundaries, and reclaiming our self-worth. We must recognise when our emotional and mental well-being is at risk and make the conscious decision to prioritise ourselves.

How do we do this? By loving ourselves enough to know when enough is enough. By trusting that we deserve better and having the courage to step into a future where we are valued, respected, and free to grow.

What does this really mean?

We hear it all the time: take care of yourself, love yourself, be kind to yourself. It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But when you’re in the middle of the storm, when your thoughts are scattered and you’re just trying to get through the day, what do those words actually mean?

If all you’ve ever known is the opposite, if you’ve been taught that your needs don’t matter, that you’re not worthy, then hearing someone say love yourself can feel meaningless. Just words that don’t quite make sense.

I know that feeling well. I grew up in a home shaped by domestic violence; my stepfather was violent, while my father was absent. My mother was lost in her own struggles, and as I got older, I thought I had chosen a different path, a different kind of partner. But somehow, I found myself in the same cycle again. It took me years to understand why I made the choices I did.

In conversations with my siblings, we realised something: we had all believed that because we weren’t being physically hurt, we had chosen good men. But looking back, we saw a pattern. Like our father, they weren’t violent, but they were absent in other ways. My father never considered us; he only thought of himself, regardless of how difficult that made life for the family. And in our own relationships, we had unknowingly repeated that dynamic, choosing partners who, while not abusive in the traditional sense, still left us feeling unseen and unsupported.

The turning point

Recognising this was our turning point. Once we decided that enough was enough, we shifted our focus to what we truly wanted, how we could make the necessary changes to move forward in a healthier way, not just for ourselves but for those around us.

Change isn’t easy, especially when you’ve never been shown how. It takes effort; it takes pushing yourself in ways that don’t feel natural. But the first step? Take a deep breath.

Remind yourself that this moment, however painful, is happening for a reason. And maybe, just maybe, that reason is leading you somewhere better.

I’ve spoken with people coming out of similar situations, and so many have said, I feel guilty, but not for leaving. Guilty just for existing. It sounds strange, but it’s more common than you might think. When you’ve spent so long walking on eggshells, trying not to upset anyone, you start to believe you’re always in the wrong.

That guilt, simply for taking up space, is a sign that you were in the wrong situation. And though it takes time, that feeling does go away. Be aware of it, acknowledge it, but then allow yourself to let it go and move forward.

The power of mindset

We often see people thriving after life’s biggest challenges, and we wonder, how do they do that? The answer is deceptively simple: a shift in mindset. Learning to believe, I am worth it. I am enough. And I give myself permission to finally believe that.

It’s easy to slip back into old patterns, so choose a simple sentence that speaks to you and repeat it over and over until you truly believe it. If you find those old patterns creeping back in, repeat, repeat, repeat!

Then, take action. Do something for yourself. It doesn’t have to be big. Maybe it’s waking up a little earlier to enjoy a quiet cup of coffee before the rest of the house stirs. Maybe it’s creating a small morning ritual just for yourself.

For me, one of the biggest changes I made in my own household was learning to truly listen to my children, to consider their thoughts and feelings. When you’re stuck in a cycle of constantly trying to make someone else happy, it becomes impossible to be fully present for those who matter most. And in the end, everyone suffers.

This shift changed everything. Now, my household is happier, my children are thriving, and I can genuinely say that I love my life. Every night, I go to bed grateful. Every morning, I wake up thankful for the life I’ve created.

Your next step

This kind of transformation is possible when we decide that we are worth the changes, when we finally say, enough is enough.

So, the question is, what do you want your life to look like moving forward?